Why Sober Living Can Be Vital In Early Recovery
Safe and recovery-oriented housing early in recovery can be a difference maker.
Leaving rehab is one of the most exciting times in early recovery. For the first time in a long time, you are sober, clear-headed, and anxious to enter the world and show your loved ones the new person you are becoming.
On the flip side, however, leaving treatment can be very nerve-wracking and potentially dangerous if you leave unprepared. I remember leaving rehab for the last time in 2020 and feeling scared. I was anxious and excited, but I was genuinely fearful that I was going to fail again, even though I desperately wanted to stay sober. It can be dangerous because studies show drug users are at a much higher risk of overdose when they return to use after being abstinent for a while.
That is why sober living serves a valuable purpose in the recovery journey. Those first moments leaving rehab – or jail, for that matter - are of the utmost importance. Going straight from inpatient treatment into a sober living program ensures structure and safety are maintained.
Sober living is a transitional housing model for people in early recovery, oftentimes for individuals leaving rehab. Though a lot of times it can be confused with a halfway house, sober living is usually more structured and built around addiction support groups, 12 step meetings, and outpatient counseling.
There are hundreds of sober living programs in Michigan, so each one varies with different rules and guidelines. But to summarize what most of them are like, they are houses or buildings where you live with other men or women who are in recovery. It is not like rehab where you cannot leave the property, but there is a curfew and rules you must follow. Drug testing, meeting attendance, employment, house chores, and signing in and out are typical. Rent is usually somewhere around 500 or 600 per month, but some sober living programs are funded through Medicaid for 90 days, so you do not have to pay for a while.
Now, I get it. Sometimes the thought of sharing living quarters with other people is not thrilling, but a lot of times it is that exact thing that can make the difference between staying sober and relapsing. You are living with other people going through the same things as you, so that companionship and accountability that comes with it is key early on when it is vital to build a sober support system. The opposite of addiction is connection, and that is one of the most valuable experiences you can get from sober living.
The reason people go to rehab is because they need help fighting a battle they cannot win alone. Going to treatment gives you access to professionals that can help you sober up, learn tools to develop relapse prevention skills, and start to piece your life back together. But inpatient rehab also separates you from the environment you were using drugs or alcohol in, which is equally important. A lot of times we need to get away from the houses we have been using in, the friends we have been using with, and the communities we know like the back of our hand.
So, oftentimes when you complete rehab, returning right back to that environment just puts you back in the same situation, and triggers and cravings hit you like a tidal wave. That is where sober living comes in. Instead of going right back to the situation you desperately needed to get out of, it puts you in a structured home where you can continue to focus on recovery while integrating back into society.
Speaking from personal experience, I cannot begin to explain how much sober living helped me. If you have read anything I have written over the years, you probably know how much I relapsed in the past. I would stay sober for two or three months and then fall back into old patterns. I went to treatment at least 10 times in my life, but I would always just go right back home thinking, “it will be different this time, I am stronger.” I truly had good intentions each time I left rehab, but somehow, I just couldn’t bring myself to stay sober long term.
So, when I went to rehab for the last time, I decided I was going to try something different. My long-time recovery coach, Phil Pavona, encouraged me to go to sober living instead of going back to my parent’s house. It had nothing to do with my parents or family; it was more about me going and sleeping in the same bedroom that I used in for a decade, driving the same car I drove to buy drugs in for years, and going to the bathroom in the same place I snuck away into for years to shoot up in. Going somewhere new provided me with a fresh start that allowed me to flourish.
Lastly, I do have to point out that not all sober living programs are going to be completely drug and alcohol free. There are some programs that don’t have as much oversight and can unintentionally allow people with bad intentions to fly under the radar. There was a place I went to years ago in Traverse City that was like that. I got out of treatment and went into their transitional housing program thinking it was going to be all sober men. But when I got out, the first day a resident was blatantly smoking weed and drinking beer on the front porch. I was shocked. Come to find out, the house was essentially run by the residents, and it was easy for people to get away with using there. It was a bad situation, and I am not going to blame that program for why I eventually relapsed, but it sure wasn’t helpful. So, if you are searching for a sober living program to attend, make sure you do your research. Read reviews, talk to the program about what their rules are and what kind of structure they have, and ask professionals if they have recommendations. Often, substance abuse counselors in rehabs know which programs are good, and if you need help you can always reach out to me for advice.
Recovery is the best choice you will ever make, but it is not easy. It is important to give yourself the best chance to succeed because we all know the consequences of relapses are often devastating and deadly. Sober living may not be for everyone, but it worked for me. I have been sober almost four years now and a big part of that was due to the choice I made to give sober living a chance.