Planting The Seed Of Recovery

Recounting how my Uncle Rock introduced me to AA many years ago and how it finally made sense when I got sober.

My Uncle Rock’s Sobriety Token. He got sober on 4/1/1984.

It was sometime in the summer. I was probably 16 or 17 at the time and just a few years into my active addiction, which at that time was filled with recklessness, irrational thinking, and impulsive decision-making - all centered around trying to get high. I don’t remember what I was using at the time; it could have been oxycontin, cocaine, or alcohol. I don’t even know the exact year; so much of my life from my teens is all a blur. But one thing I do remember is that I was strung out and didn’t care about anything or anyone besides myself. Sobriety – let alone recovery, a whole new way of life – was not something I even considered an option.

Somewhere in the midst of all of this, though, I was introduced to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous by my Uncle Rock. Before I go any further, let me give some background on Rock, who was not an uncle by birth. He was the father of one of my childhood best friends, Dan, and began to be referred to as an uncle because my family grew so close to him. Rock was a very generous man; he used to take me on huge shopping trips for my birthday. He was also the biggest Michigan State Spartans fan I have ever met. I grew up going to a ton of MSU football games with Rock and Dan and even hung around some of the football facilities in East Lansing during practices. Rock meant so much to me and was usually at many of our family gatherings. He was a lot of things to me and my family, but on this particular day he was trying to save my life.

By this time in my life, everyone knew I was spiraling out of control. I had already stopped going to Mason High school and had been to juvenile and a youth rehab a couple of times. I made a lot of bad decisions in my teenage years that would have lasting consequences for many years. Many people tried to reach out and help, and Rock was one of them. Growing up with Dan and Rock, I knew a lot about him, but one thing I didn’t know until that day was that Rock was a recovering alcoholic. He had been sober for many years by this time, and he tried to offer me what had been given to him: a 12-step program of recovery. He asked to meet me at his local meeting spot, which was at the old Alano Club South in Lansing. Going to sit around a table and drink coffee with a bunch of recovering alcoholics was not something I wanted to do, but since it was Rock I took him up on the offer. I couldn’t say no to Rock.

From L to R: My cousin Dan, Uncle Rock, and my Dad from roughly 20 years ago.

It was my first ever AA meeting. I didn’t even know what AA was up until this point. I had heard of it but had no idea what it consisted of. At this particular meeting, what I remember the most is that there wasn’t a person in that room other than me that was under the age of 40, there were pitchers of coffee on the table, and the air was full of cigarette smoke – at that time you could still smoke inside meetings. I also remember Rock telling some of his story, and after the meeting was over, he bought me a Big Book and signed his name in it. I still have that Big Book in my office at Pinnacle. But that meeting was my introduction into a world I never knew fully existed. There were grown men that talked about their sobriety with pride and actually seemed to enjoy the company of other alcoholics. There was a feeling of contentment in the air.

The only problem was I wasn’t ready to quit at that time. As much as I thought it was pretty cool that my Uncle Rock could personally relate to me, I knew I wouldn’t be back at that meeting the next day because I hadn’t had enough. I liked getting high too much and the pain I had at that time did not outweigh the joy using drugs still brought me. But one thing that meeting with Rock did for me was plant a seed. It planted a seed in the back of my mind that, when the time came, there was hope for recovery. When the time came to get sober, I knew where to turn.

Over a decade later, after several more rehabs, numerous jail stints, and many more poor decisions, I finally reached that point where the pain outweighed the benefits of using. It took several attempts at getting sober, including a few heart-breaking relapses, but that seed that was planted years ago by Rock germinated and grew into a blooming flower of hope. I have been sober for over 4 and a half years now and work in the recovery field. I can now help plant that seed in other people that are in the same situation I was in years ago. Some take the message and run with it; with others, it may take a long time like it took me.

Rock passed away on August 12^th, 2019, at the age of 70. At the time of his death, he had over 35 years of sobriety! We had a funeral service at my dad’s church for him and I was able to share what he meant to me in front of some of his family and friends. Looking back, I have to think Rock knew better than to think I was going to get sober that day he introduced me to AA. He knew how hard recovery was and that a person can only stay sober when they are ready for themselves. But he showed me there was a new way of life, and for that I will forever be grateful. Sometimes all we can do for others is plant the seed so that when they are ready, they know where to turn.