Experiencing God's Grace - 5 Years Sober and Graduation Thoughts

Recovery has provided so many blessings, while my faith has provided the roadmap to life.

Sometimes, things fall into place so perfectly that it is hard to call it a coincidence. A few weeks ago, in the span of a few days, I was fortunate enough to have attained a college degree and celebrate five years of sobriety. I traveled from Michigan to Virginia to graduate from Liberty University with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology on May 9^th, and then on May 12^th I officially had five years of continuous recovery. May 11^th also happened to be Mother’s Day, which was the icing on the cake.

I believe in coincidences to a certain extent, but I also am a man of faith, and in this case, it is a lot easier for me to believe that this was God’s way of patting my head and saying, “see, I told you.” Almost 15 years ago, when I was 18 or 19 years old, I was serving a year in the Ingham County Jail. As a young adult sitting in jail for a long period of time, I had absolutely zero hope. I thought my life was already over. I had no skills, accomplishments, or traits that I could be proud of, and I was coming around to the idea that maybe all my life was going to amount to was to serve as an example of what not to do. While all my childhood friends were going off to college, I had nothing to look forward to besides a couple extra sandwiches at dinner time for being a jail worker, which during that stint was serving meals to other inmates on post four at the old jail in Mason.

It wasn’t all bad, though, looking back on that year. Something positive happened when I was in jail that time. I was re-introduced to the Bible at the facility’s once-a-week church service. On the wall in the chapel, there was a mural with Jeremiah 29:11 painted on it: “for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.” My parents would also send me postcards with that verse written on them. I memorized that verse, but in the back of my mind I knew there wasn’t any hope for a heroin addict. That’s what I thought, at least.

Fast forward a long and treacherous 15 years later, and I couldn’t help but think back on that verse when I was walking up to the stage on the Liberty football field with my cap and gown on. “Plans to give you a hope and a future.” My dad used to tell me that someday God was going to use everything I went through to help others and create a path for myself. That is exactly what has happened. I don’t try to question how all of this has happened. What I know for sure is that I had to completely surrender EVERYTHING I had ever known - and embark on a mission to create a new mindset and lifestyle. After that happened, God put a number of people in my life at the perfect times to help guide me on a path I don’t think I could have forged myself. People like Phil Pavona, who suggested I go to rehab at Bear River instead of another program I was scheduled to get into. That decision alone was huge, because Bear River was a life saver and game changer. Then my friend in treatment, James, encouraged me to go to sober living with him after completing treatment instead of going home. That sober living program ended up being Pinnacle, which not only provided me a safe environment while I learned to live sober, but the ladies that own Pinnacle – Alina and Teresa - took me under their wing. Teresa encouraged me to figure out what I was good at and helped me see that I had a lot of potential. She saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself, and if it wasn’t for her, I don’t think I would be in the position I am in today. And then Alina, well she has taught me everything I know about working in the recovery field. When I say everything, I mean it. The stuff that goes along with helping people face-to-face, but also all the things that must happen behind the scenes, which is a lot.

I could go on and on about everything that has happened since the day I woke up in the hospital from an overdose in 2020. I won’t bore you. The bottom line is that I believe there has been a higher power working in my life, doing for me what I could not have done myself. I have made a lot of bad decisions in my life, so I know today what grace feels like.

As for the future, I can only control what I have power to control. I can make all the plans in the world, but if God has something different in line, I know today to trust that. But my plan is to get my CADC, which is the license you need to attain in Michigan to become a substance abuse counselor. I still work at Pinnace as the program manager and am planning on continuing that. I have my own apartment in Lansing and live with my daughter, another blessing of recovery. Melody is the best part of my life and there was a time when I never thought I would be a full-time father. I want to continue to write and hopefully now that I am not in school, I can start doing that more. There are still things I struggle with, like depression and anxiety. Not the debilitating kind like I used to experience, but there are a lot of days when I don’t feel like getting out of bed, or I will get anxious over things that ultimately don’t matter in the long run. Getting sober and changing your life doesn’t mean everything is going to be perfect. There will still be hard times and challenging life experiences. Recovery just provided me with the tools to navigate the process easier and to know that emotions are temporary. When I am having a rough day, sometimes I just remind myself where I was several years ago and realize that I will take the problems I have today over the problems I had in my addiction – any day of the week.

I am blessed today. I live a simple life, but I don’t need much. I used to take a lot of things for granted (and still do sometimes). Changing your mindset – which we have the power to do – and taking a dose of perspective can cure a lot of life’s ills. A few weeks ago, though, I had all the perspective I needed, experiencing two of my greatest accomplishments with my family. I didn’t need a reminder. I just simply acknowledged with gratitude what can happen when I let God take control of my life.